People that make dirt look smart

I went to McDonald's. I looked at the menu and saw that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half-dozen nuggets. "We don't have a half-dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they asked for a credit card number, so she's using the ATM "thingy".
 

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries it's a long walk."

Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. One day, he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
 

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
 

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

 

 

Let's see now -- what's new?  Weather?  Nope - still full of snow, although it might reach 40 degrees today.  But there is no sun so I'm thinking not much of the snow will go away.  It stopped being pretty over the weekend.  Now yucky and brown in most places.

 

The weekend was allright.  Jaime showed up and rented a U-haul to pick up his things we had in storage for him and bring them to his new apartment in Queens.  It was a nice unexpected surprise to see him.  I never did get to go with Kevin to his bowling as I helped Jaime get the truck and such.  Then he bought Charlie and his friend lunch for helping and headed on down the Thruway.

 

We found out yesterday that Kevin is having muscle spasms - he was a hurting unit on Saturday.  He did go ahead and bowl Sunday - the nitwit, but afterwards hurt even more.  He thought maybe he had his pleursey back (he gets it every so often and it's very painful).  I made a dr. appointment for him for yesterday and the Dr. says he is having muscle spasms in his back.  I'm only assuming it was from his shoveling and Saturday since the snow was packed and even heavier, it was worse.  So he's home today and I will be bringing his prescriptions to him on my lunch hour. 

 

I was reading the paper this morning and there was an article about making your life better, changing habits.  It said that you do something for 21 days to change a habit or stop a habit, it will become a routine.  For example if you get up and run or walk first thing in the morning, by the time the end of 21 days comes along, it will have become a habit for you - routine.  I guess I found that pretty interesting, something I'd like to put to the test. 

 

One of the things I have always loved is breakfast, you know eggs sausage,etc.  But over the years, with work and such and the kids, I got out of the habit of any kind of breakfast at home in the morning.  The kids ate -- but I never seemed to find the time.  Now that I think of it, I can probably make the time now, yet I haven't.  It's become routine for me to drink a few cups of coffee, read the paper, get ready and off to work.  It would be nice to change my morning routine to include breakfast and I believe it will make me healthier.  The article said that after 21 days start a new thing for another 21 days.  And so on, and so on. I'm kinda liking the idea.

 

Anyway - that's about it folks for my exciting life.   

I'll be around to see what's new with you all!  Oh BTW -- I had alot of fun at this site...Planet M&M.  I was able to make myself an M&M Character and get a studio picture taken.  Silly but kind of fun. 

 

 

Tips for a more enjoyable life ...

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's tough thinking of a title to each blog.  Well this one's different anyway.

 

Well, chatting yesterday with my pal Cindi on Messenger has cheered me immensely.  I have discovered during our conversation that there really are dragons, and that she dosen't have Wise Snack Products where she lives (poor, poor Cindi).  My sister Vicc also popped in on Yahoo and she's bored so we talked a bit. 

 

I feel that I must apologize to my Space friends for my neglect.  I have been so stuck in my self pity that I have not taken the time to look around and see what everyone has been doing.  I have myself feeling like a stranger to you all.  And the longer it gets that I visit, the worse I feel and time moves on.  Amazingly enough I have discovered one of the best things of having my space here is that I get inspiration from my friends as well as support and compassion.  Thanks for putting up with my whiney butt.

 

Let's see -- it's Thursday so I have the house to myself tonight. What to do, what to do??  Please nobody get any bright ideas about me doing something that involves going outside into the freezing cold.  I would  freeze into an icycle and no one would ever hear from me again.

 

On that note - I must get back to work.  Take care!