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26 avril Well Hello Everyone!I see Lil' Mz. Friggin' Sunshine has visited. LMAO -- Sorry Cindi -- I always wanted to say that...LMAO -- I know, I'm a dork.
There really hasn't been anything new to tell. Work has been busy and the weather has turned gloomy again. Although I must admit, its not too cold -- in the 60's.
As you can see, I changed themes -- the other was totally boring and didn't fit in with my Spring feeling. I aso added two pics of Eric that Nikki sent. My God - I am sitting here not having any clue what to blog about. Absolutely nothing is happening other than work and the usual home, cook, watch tv, chores. I HAVE A BORING LIFE!!!
I sat yesterday and was going over the bills. It's a bit tough living these two months on just my paycheck. On the upside, my grocery bills have gone down quite a bit.
Ok - that's it. Thisis probably the worst blog I've ever done, but honestly, my mind is completly blank. I mainly just wanted to let you know that for the most part I'm doing ok. Mood swings come and go and it's hell to be crabby and there is no one to notice. Or to make my usual sarcastic remarks at the news or commercials and there's nobody to hear them. But life is going on as usual and Kevin is down to 29 days left. I can hardly belive it is half over. Sometimes I try to put myself in his place and imagine what it will be like coming home after being in a place like that for 2 months. I don't like that someone I love has to live through this. I don't like that all that I love have to go through this. I'm so hoping that Charlie will be a little less angry when his dad comes home.
Ham and Potatoes for supper -- I'll be around visiting tomorrow since I got tons of work done today and will have the time. Plus I am a little hooked on Zuma again. Stupid computer games. LOL! So till tomorrow, thanks for reading my boring blog. I'll do better next time.. I hope.
22 avril Sunday EveningAnd a peaceful one it is. At 6:30 it's so beautiful out -- High 70's. I'm making Charlie and I some goulash for dinner -- quick and simple. My windows are open and the sun is shining in. I had my visit with Kevin and am in my quiet mood. It was an excellent weekend though. Yesterday I did get so much done as far as Spring Cleaning goes. Being outside was nice.
This morning after dragging "Sir Charles" out of bed as he had to be to work at 7:30, I hit the road and did the grocery shopping, went to Lowes for a new garden hose and snuck in Old Navy and splurged on two cute new T-Shirts. I even remembered to run into Target and get a new dish drainer - something I keep saying I'm going to do and forgetting about when I am out and about. Nope -- I don't have a dishwasher...strike that --- I am the diswasher. LOL!
Wednesday I have my Annual birthday dinner with my friend Karyn -- our birthdays are exactly a week apart so we go to dinner every year. This time it's at Clinton's Ditch -- a new restaurant downtown. They are doing a fabulous job of revitalizing our downtown area. I can hardly believe it's the same place. So other than work, the gym and tanning booth it will be the usual week -- the weather won't be quite as nice (except tomorrow it is supposed to hit 80) -- but it shouldn't be cold, cold. 50's and 60's - usual spring weather.
Geez - I can't wait for Kevin to get home. I really hate leaving him on Sunday -- and I really feel his absence on Sunday evenings, more than any other time. It was our favorite time. Settling down after a busy weekend, sitting on the front porch, waving to our neighbors. Getting psyched up for the work week ahead - just enjoying each others comany.
On that note -- I need to go finish dinner. Afterwards I'm going to watch another movie, leave the windows open for awhile and enjoy the fresh warm air. Hey -- you know, I always like to find something positive out of things. Kevin isn't a big movie person unless it's crime stuff, army stuff or Godfather movies -- but with him not being here I have more than caught up on the movies I've wanted to watch. So --- on to dinner and a chick flick if I can find one on. --- Till later! 20 avril Isn't it amazing?Today is Friday -- The temps will reach 70 degrees -- the sun is shining and the air is clear. Amazing how much the weather can affect peoples attitudes and moods. I feel good this morning, and even the guys/gals on the radios are cheery and laughing. We will have weather in the 70's all weekend and could hit 80 on Monday. Hey Rita -- how great is that? Should we put away the thermals? I'm pretty sure we can stuff the winter coats into storage.
So what is up for everyone's weekend? Me -- the gym, tanning, and lots of yardwork. No inside cleaning this weekend unless it involves the windows. They will be wide open all weekend.
There's really not much more to tell about. I spent yesterday working on one of Eric's 2nd Birthday presents. Kaci would know what that is, as she sent me the link to hers. I can't say in case Nikki reads this and I want it to be a surprise. I did the grocery shopping last night and the laundry is done (except the curtains) so I don't have to interrupt my yardwork and windows for anything else. If something comes up, it can probably wait. It's weird that I'm so excited about doing yardwork. Probably because it's outside right. Either that or I'm just weird (no comments from the peanut gallery Cozy Guy).
Anyway I wish you all an awesome weekend! I'll check in sometime throughout.
17 avril Well, it's been a few days, hasn't it?Like everyone says, life gets busy sometimes, but it's quiet tonight and it's nice to sit here and catch up. I have some visiting to do too. I always end up missing something when I can't get around for a few days.
My birthday was pretty quiet --although the phone was busy. It was nice hearing from family and friends saying happy birthday. And it was nice reading all of your birthday wishes as well. Anyway, I ended up having a couple Bud Lights, making myself a steak and baked potato and falling asleep on the couch. Nice huh? I know that if Kevin were home we would have went out to dinner, but he said he would make it up to me. I'm thinking Lobster....yep, it's definately lobster.
Sunday was nice for awhile. I did some cleaning that I refused to do on my birthday -- I was on the phone most of the time anyway. It was nice having Jaime home, even though he was only here for a few hours. He went home Sunday evening. I went to visit Kevin, and as usual, I fell into my usual moody self at that point. I just hate seeing him there, and the guards on duty that night were definately not very nice. He said it was the same "upstairs". It was snowing/sleeting out, and when I was crossing the street to get to the building I took my licence out of my back pocket (I only carry my licence and keys inside) and because I had not coat on ran to the building. When I got inside, I filled out the slip for the visit and handed the guard my licence and the slip. He made faces and dropped the licence on the desk, wanting to know what was on the license. I was so stunned I just said "water I guess, its snowing out". Well he was a real jerk. Making all kinds of disquesting faces and throwing the license on the desk as he checked the sheet. He then checked another sheet, which no one has ever done before, and I was thinking he was looking to see if I had a record or something...looking for a reason to turn me away. He then threw (yes really threw) the license back at me and turned his back with a nasty face. OMG - I never felt so humiliated in my life. What did he think that I spit on it or something. I don't understand how people can treat others like that. I can understand that sometimes he has to deal with some nasty people, but damn I was smiling when I handed it to him. I am a nice person. Needless to say -- that made a rotten start to a stinky evening. Like I said -- I don't do well after visits. During is fine - Kevin deserves a nice visit.
Yesterday was busy at work - and procrastinator that I am, I had to finish my taxes. I owe too much money so that stinks. Today was another visit and I took Charlie with me and it went well. Charlie needed to see his dad was ok -- and I needed his company afterward. Anyway - I feel ok after todays visit. The guards were nice today too.
Well enough of all that -- I am really shocked by what happened at the college. What is happening to this world? So many years ago (remember I'm 51) we had never heard of anything like that happening. The world felt so much safer back then. I do know that my parents never had the worries then that parents have nowadays. It's a scary feeling. I will be praying for the families.
It's almost dinner time for me - so I will get a few visits to you all in before then and sit down again after. The weather is still yucky here but the weatherman says we are looking at maybe 70's this weekend. The weather thingie on here doesn't say that, but I think that's always a little behind anyway. Take care you all! 14 avril Ok - who told?Yes, it is my birthday. Thank you Babyterese and Cindi -- Leave it to you both to probably write it on your calendar. Since I hadn't mentioned it, no one really would know. I'm 51 years old today. How about that? Do I feel like I'm 51 - not today I don't.
When I was growing up, before my mom passed away, birthdays were huge celebrations. She always said there has to be one day out of a whole year when you can have permission to celebrate yourself and have others do the same. There were always presents, cake, cards, family and friends and tons of hugs and kisses and best wishes. She passed away 2 months before my 15th Birthday and birthdays were never the same after that. My birthday is one of the times I miss her the most. But anyway - today is a good day. I feel good (the good hormones are ruling today, yea for that).
I don't have any special plans, but I was up early, recolored my hair and I'm dressed and going to treat myself to breakfast, (courtesy of my Dad who mailed me $20. in my card) walk to the library for the tax forms I need (my oldest son Jaime procrastinated) and go buy myself some sweatpants so I can go to the gym. The ones I have now are too raggy. And while at the gym I'm gonna thumb my nose to mother nature and get in the tanning booth. That Florida trip on Kevin's release is coming up fast.
I'll check in with you all later to let you know how my day went. Meanwhile have a great day yourselves! 12 avril Is it really April?I am looking out my office window at thick snow falling -- accumulating even though the forcasters said it probably wouldn't. We started this morning with snow, went to rain, to hail, back to rain, sleet and now thick flakes of snow. When will it all end.
You all should go over to Skips Space and check out his blogs on his travel adventures with his Turkey and the great pictures he takes to go with it. He really makes you feel like you are there. He also made Melissa and I famous in his pictures. Hey Melissa did you see it yet??? He has the best sense of humor which pops out when you least expect it and draws an unexpected laugh out of you.
I just sent another box out to Nikki -- 2 cute outfits for Eric and I'm giving her my black and white sandals which obviously I will never get to wear here in Upstate New York. My little toes would freeze. The outfits for Eric are things I find at outrageously inexpensive prices - a dollar or so apiece for the cutest little shirts. I can never reisit. Who needs lunch. LOL! Just kidding.
I seem to be in a good mood right now don't I? Hmmm - wonder how long that will last. Doesn't matter I guess, I'll just enjoy it while it lasts.
I have talked to my friends from Jersey (hey you guys if you are reading in) and it's nice to know how much they care. I miss them and wish I lived closer during this time. I was out bringing Kevin his things last night and stopped to pick up a few things at the store and missed my friend Kathie's call and Anita's call. I called Anita, knowing I probably wouldn't wake her, but by the time we talked it was real late so I will return Kathie's call tonight. Talking with them helps my mood because they know me so well after all these years. I can't lie to them if I'm not o.k.
 Well - I have about an hour left so I'll finish up some work and do some visiting before I head home and get out of this nasty, nasty weather. Yep, still snowing. My Kevin isn't missing anything weatherwise at least.11 avril It's a good day - I thinkI've discovered that the visit days with Kevin are the hardest ones. I don't know what it is, but seeing him brings it all home to me that he won't be home when I get there. I get terrribly moody and irratiable...although that my be the age thing I have going on. I don't think so though.
Today is a pretty nice day, sunny and just a little chilly when you are not in the sun. A perfect day to rake my yard, but alas I'm at work. And I just remembered we need leaf bags. The rest of the week is supposed to be cold and there is even a few inches of snow predicted. BUT - so far Saturday doesn't look bad and I'll have leaf bags by then I think.
I have to bring Kevin a package today -- underwear, sweatshirt, socks, newspapers, etc. They can only have plain grey or white Sweatshirts with no logos or zippers or hoods. I'll be darned if I can find any for sale in the entire city. I have went to 2 malls, Target, Walmart, Old Navy, etc. Because the summer clothes are out already, sweatshirts are pretty much gone off the shelves. I'm not a big fan of how they move their merchandise around. Don't they realize that it's still cold and people still would like to buy a new sweatshirt? And I'll be damned if I even want to think about buying a bathing suit right now. But by the time I do in June or July- they will be selling fall clothes and won't have any. It happens to me every year. I'll tell you, if I owned a store things would be different. And I bet I'd make money too. No one else would be selling sweatshirts in April but me. I can see the money rolling in. And in July, I'd be the only one stocking bathing suits. Am I a genius or what? LOL!
Well everyone - I hope your week is going well for you. It's almost time for me to head home (with a quick stop at the grocery store).
7 reasons not to mess with children's logic.
1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ." 2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." 3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." 4.One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" 5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead." 6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." 7.The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples." 10 avril Hey - this isn't hard..Hey - I just came from Melissa's site and she has managed to put a video on her blog. So I've decided to try. Nik sent me a short video of Eric a few months ago so here goes...I'll try to put it here. If that works I have a longer one I'll replace it with or put in the Sandbox thingie.
Hey! It worked -- Nikki is tickling Eric's feet. 9 avril My Color Fell Out??How does that happen? One day my hair is a pretty color -- the next most of it's gone. That is the first time I used Revlon -- I'm going back to Clarol. Pffffft...Imagine that. I'm grey again. I was telling my sister about it and she said it's happened to her a few times. I"ve personally never had it happen to me and have never heard of it happen to anyone. So..I will wait till the weekend and redo it with my usual color.
The weekend was very nice. Quiet - but that was ok. I did get alot done around the house. My Easter was nice also -- just Charlie and I, but that's allright. Yesterday was a visit day, and I talked to family on the phone as well. I didn't have many dishes like I usually do. We had a ham dinner, mashed potatoes, gravy corn and rolls. All of these are Charlies all time favorites.
I'm heading home but just wanted to say hello. I'll be doing some visiting this evening from home - at least until my computer there aggravates me and I get mad and shut it off! Have a nice night.
SORRY GUYS...
7 avril Isn't this little saying great?It's early Saturday morning and I thought I'd say hello with a hot cup of coffee before I began my day. I found a little quote yesterday that made me feel good and showed my muddled brain a little different perspective. I have always been delighted
at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try,
one more start with perhaps
a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.
J.B. Priestly
So, what will today hold for me? My haircut came out very nice. I have a hard time finding anyone who would cut it short enough. To get it as short as I like it, whoever does it has to use the clippers and some women are nervous about using them. I considered going to a Barber but felt funny walking in there among all those men. Shy little thing that I am... Anyway this lady didn't bat an eye when I told her to make believe I am a boy..er a man (my age says boy doesn't fit me) and to give me a boy haircut. She did just that in a matter of about 10 minutes. And cutting all the color that I had left right out. Home I went and immediately put Revlon to work. The color is a light red and I really like it. I will have Charlie take pictures today and see if I can get them on later. Today I tackle the bathroom - tearing it apart and putting it back together. The rugs, curtains, etc. need washing and everything will be scrubbed shiny. I don't have an I-pod yet so I will have to crank up the boom box nearby. You know cleaning the bathroom is good exercise too. I'll spend a half hour on the basement -- that needs to be done in chunks of time as it is so daunting with all the things down there that it makes me tired just thinking of doing it. Easier to do it in chunks of time. All my shopping is done, and it's much to cold to spend time sitting or working outside so after dinner, it will be time for sweats and a movie or two that I have taped. Still cannot concentrate on my books. That is just so strange. Usually everyone has to shout my name 4 or 5 times to get me back to reality and answer them. Melissa mentioned something about scapbooking and I have to say that for many years my plans to make each of my children a scrapbook have been put on the back burner. Now I am left with quite a few boxes of memories and thousands of pictures taunting me to get started. Only problem is, I am not sure how to get started. One child at a time I guess. Melissa I wish you were here also. You strike me as the dig right in and do it type of person. But rather than the movie tonight, it might be kinda fun to dig those boxes out and start a little sorting. And as far a the srapbooks themselves, that will require more shopping. I hope they are not expensive or maybe I can make my own with binders. I have plenty of them. Ok -- now I'm thinking out loud. Thanks Melissa for the idea. Once again my friends -- thanks for being here and for the support and encouragement you show. It matters. If I don't post before tomorrow -- May your Easter be blessed with love and family and fun. 4 avril Hmmm - Two posts in one day?Who woulda thought?
It's kind of a cozy night. Quiet as ususal. It's really kind of hard to believe. We have been in this house 11 years come July. I cannot begin to tell you how chaotic and noisy it usually is. Raising 3 boys, one girl (who is equal to 3 boys), and half their friends sure did create some drama and exitement. I have the pictures to prove it. LOL! The quiet is unnatural really.
We have always been a close family - or so I believed. I believe we still are -- somewhere. The trials of the last 4 months have wore on each of us. Therefore the quiet. As I said before, it was a long story. 4 months long. From the very dramatic beginning to the long drawn out months that followed. Trying to find money for a lawyer, finding a lawyer, court (postphones a few times for overbooking cases and once for our lawyers illness), getting my car fixed, Kevin losing his license and trying to arrange schedules to transport him to and from work. His boss was more than understanding, considering Kevin is a driver for the company and now has no license and lost much time from work. A blessing is that when he is released, a job is still waiting for him as he has been with the company for 9 years. And dealing with arguments and fights over the choice Kevin makes on which sentencing he will choose. From dealing with Kevin's depression over the trouble he is bringing to our family and his job. The kids problems with trying to reassure their Dad...and belive me I can go on. Yes, it has wore on us.
I know that people/friends are treating us differently. Whether it be from not knowing what to say or what -- it is felt. Charlie suffers most from that end as he and his Dad are the major bowlers in the family and we have been going to that bowling alley since Jaime was 14. (He is 27 now - so 14 years). Charlie is angry -- and he has changed. But I'm up for the fight. If anything this experience has taught my family - it is that the choices they make are important. I can only hope that they take that lesson from this.
I know that Kevin has...it is he who is truly paying the consequences. Rather than let us all deal with his 3 years probation, and having this episode continue to hang over us he insisted that it was his consequence to pay. If he chose the sentence with 3 years probation - it will hang on for 3 years. He wanted to end it - completely. So we could move on.
Well - guess I will make my dinner. Oh by the way - I have a haircut appointment tommrow. And Revlon Light Red will have it's way with my hair afterward. If you see no pictures, know that "damn, Debbie must have picked the wrong color"...
 . Thanks for listening...Oooh - Spooky SkyIt's all gray out and looks like a big storm is coming. Kinda creepy looking out my office window. Yep - I was right. Here comes the rain. No thunder or lightning yet. As anxious as I am for warmth and summer, I know that for flowers we need the rain. Soon things will be turning from brown to green.
You know, I'm slowly adjusting to this new routine of mine. It's different when I get home, not having anyone really to share my day with or make plans with. I've been doing alot of reading and studying up on different things that interest me. It's very hard to get interested in my usual reading material, novels, etc. My mind seems to wander alot. But if I'm reading up on other things it passes the time and because I really have to think about what I'm reading, I concentrate better. One problem I'm having though is that I don't want to go anywhere. I really need a haircut and I have plenty of time to do it, but by the time I get home from work, or from dropping a package off to Kevin or visiting or just stopping at the store on the way home, I seem to be so tired. I'm thinking maybe stress? Maybe a meditation book is in order? Hmmmm...
It's amazing the things that I have seen while going to visit Kevin or dropping off a package for him. I went yesterday to bring him his first package (underwear, socks, etc.). The first two times I went, they wouldn't take it because it was the wrong time and everyone kept giving me different information (very frustrating). They really need to make up some kind of packet for family members. I understand that for some they are used to it and know the schedules, etc. But there are also alot of people like me who have no clue. Anyway, yesterday I finally got it right and they took it for me. While I was waiting an elderly gentleman (I say gentleman, because that is the first thing I thought upon seeing him) came into the lobby. He made his way to the window and asked to speak to someone about neighbors using drugs, loud music and fighting. He said he was afraid they would harm him as they had been abusive to him in the past. He mentioned that he had called the Police Sargent and spoken to him and nothing had been done. He then promptly burst into tears. What a heartbreaking sight. This elderly gentleman, at his wits end, begging for help.
They calmed him and told him a patrol officer would be out to speak with him. By then, I had gotten my receipt and licence back and was leaving. I didn't want to leave. It was all I could do not to go and comfort the man in some way. Yet what could I say or do? I can only hope that someone will take pity on him and help him. I thought of him often throughthe rest of the day.
Well everyone - enjoy your Wednesday. It's really pouring rain out now and I just saw a flash of lightning. So in case the power goes out I want to get this posted. No way would I remember enough to do it over. Till Later.....
3 avril ~~~Today is a pretty quiet day - calm. Yes, I do need calm. After the visit on Sunday, todays visit went well. Talking about it here has seemed to make a difference. It was hard to come here and tell you all what was happening but I really needed to. I didn't feel I was being true to myself, nevermind all of you if I didn't.
Nikki emailed me some pictures of little Eric. He is growing up so fast.
Jaime, (little Kevin's bride to be) called to let me know that Baby Kevin is going to get a Ultra Sound on Wednesday. It seems he is projectile vomiting and it's been happening on and off for awhile. They have tried changing formulas and a few other things at the advice of the doctor, but nothing has helped. Poor little guy. She will call me as soon as they know anything.
Other than that, life continues on for now. Thank you my friends for your encouraging words. You can never understand how much they mean to me. And to my "silent visitor" - nice to meet you. Thank you for the lovely things you said.
Cozy Guy loves to put jokes at the end of his posts, and it never fails to make me smile. Here's one someone emailed me. This way I can let you leave with a smile. Till later!
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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door: 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp. 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook. 8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him. 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T." 11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" . 12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,. 13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God. 14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's. 1 avril Real LifeIt's Sunday evening and I'm sitting here at the computer ready to update my space. I can't --- it's too hard. But I need to.
May 2005 is when I started this space -- I've saved every entry onto disks. It's truly my space. But when I started it, thinking that I would have a journal -- or my own accounting of what my days have been like, I didn't realize that I would make so many friends. But I have.
I've always been as honest about my life and family as I think I could be without being depressing or whining, etc. All of you who have known me these last few years know that. And belive me, I can get whiney -- and depressing. I try not to be because that is not who I am -- I am an optimistic person -- always trying to look for the good side. But I am honest. Shit this is hard. I want this truly to be "My Space" -- so here goes.
When I was in Cancun (I'm sure you all remember cause I publizied it enough)..Papa Dukes (aka - Kevin) deceided to go to the bowling alley for awhile and had a few drinks. The bowling alley is a little over a mile from our house. Not thinking twice about it he got in the car to drive home. On the way home he rear ended another car and had to take a breathelizer. He was charged with DWI.
To make a long story short -- and believe me it is a long story, on Wednesday, March 28 he was handcuffed in the courtroom and led off to serve is 90 days in jail. Being offered 10 days in jail, a $1200 fine and 3 years probabion vs. 90 days in jail, and a $500 dollar fine, he chose the 90 days. He did it for many reasons - mostly being that he wanted clean slate rather than it hanging over our families head for 3 years. He did it because I told him he needed to make things right and he agreed.
I haven't been able to come here and talk to you all because it is too hard to be MaDukes that you know. I've made so many friends here and I don't want to lose any. This is something that I never thought would ever, ever happen to my family but it has.
I read the news and watch tv and I think to myself - Deb - so many other people have so much worse. But that doesn't help -- this is my family this is happening to. And it's so damn hard.
I want to say this is the end -- I'm done laying myself out here for all of you to see. But I also want all of you to know that you mean alot to me. All the friends I've made and all the laughs and jokes we share...all the different personalities and over all the world you guys are my friends and (shit I'm crying - hold on....)
Anyway - there it is... There is so much more that I can say but not right now. To be honest - I actually managed to figure out the rules and regulation of the system and saw Kevin today. Not easy and I'm very emotional -- Shit I don't know how to end this.
Driving while drinking is so very wrong and I never thought in all these years I would have to deal with this. So..
The weather is fine. I'm having Bertolli for dinner and I'm going to find a movie to watch and wait to see if my husband will be able to get a phone privilege to call me from the jail. Life sucks right now -- but time goes on and we will be ok. |
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