I was awake at 4:00 a.m. so I decided I might as well get up rather than toss and turn in this heat.  Actually it's not the heat I dislike, its the humidity.  The air is so heavy and thick.  Not having air conditioning (a situation I will remedy for next summer), it gets pretty uncomfortable.  I had my coffee and decided to switch to water.  I need all the hydration I could get.

 

Not having been on here for a while I decided to go to my inbox as it said I have 38 messages.  There were a few from some of you and I immediately felt guilty for not having answered.  For not having given this space the attention it deserves.  For not having give my good friends here the attention they deserve.  I'm so sorry -- there aren't words to describe how sorry.

 

I so totally misjudged how life would be once my kids grew up and moved out.  I envisioned we still would be close and would hear from them all the time -- see them often.  Even with my oldest Jaime, being all the way in California.  I envisioned being invited to dinner, dropping by to see the grandbabies.  Shopping with my daughter, trips to the beach or some other place as a family.  I thought they would still stop by to hang out by the pool, or watch a baseball game with dad.  None of this has happened.  I don't hear from Jaime, even though I email and text him and call him, all I get are a few words that he's still alive and ok.  I think maybe all summer I've had 3 or 4 phone conversations with him.  The kids don't drop by unless there's a reason. Nik calls and chats each day though - keeping me up on Eric's activities, and I have Eric for a few hours a few days during the week sometimes.  They've all come by for a BBQ or two when invited, and maybe I am imagining it, but I get the feeling they think they have to.  So -- that's how it is.  The simple version anyway. 

 

Kev and I ramble around, wondering what to do with ourselves.  It's gotten a bit better -- we've learned to entertain ourselves.  We even get along sometimes now.  LOL!

 

I got the School Districts Continuing Education Book yesterday.  There are two classes I want to take, but finances won't let me take both.   Which to choose?  A photography class that is a continuation of the first one I took last year, or a Yoga Class which sounds pretty interesting. 

 

Well, I have some laundry to fold that didn't get done last night because it was so hot and I had absolutely no energy, so I do need to get to that and then head for the shower and work (where its air conditioned!!!).  But this is a start I guess ---

 

Bear with me friends -- I've kept so much inside for so long, this will take a bit.  One thing I had forgotten was that letting things out of my head and heart, writing them down sure does feel cleansing.  Allows me to see things better. And then theres all of you -- helping me to see things in different ways.  Or sometimes just sharing feelings.

 

So ..... till later!

Just a quick note to let everyone know I am ok -- I miss it here.....but so many changes and all --- the words just don't come easy right now.  I will be back, I just need time to adust to lifes changes.  This blog was so very family oriented -- so as I am making changes in my life (or trying anyway) I will be making changes here too.

 

Miss you all! 

The weather is different this June than in previous years -- by now it's usually in the mid to high 70's on a regular basis.  Average right now is mid to high 60's.  I had to unpack some of my sweatshirts.  I figured Murphy's Law would improve the weather -- you know, as soon as I unpacked them, I wouldn't need them.  That Murphy is a tricky guy -- he must have known that's what I wanted.

 

But what a busy June we have coming up. 

 

This coming weekend is Kevin's annual Bowling Banquet that the whole family attends.  Normal, considering the hubby and the two boys are on the league.  We are having a clambake this year, rather than the boat cruise the previous years.  I guess the price of the tickets and gas for the buses were sky high.  Since this league supports alot of causes, they prefer to save on the banquet, rather than short change any of the causes they support.  This league was the one that did the bowling tournament for the stoller for Eric's class.  The teachers always had such a hard time taking the kids outside.  All they had was one wagon and two hands each.  (It was a triple decker stroller).  They raised over $2000. for the school as well. 

 

Next weekend is Kaelynn and Kevins Luau Birthday Party.  Kae will be 5 in June and Kevin 3 in December.  Rather than have two large birthday parties, Kevin and Jamie decided to consolidate their big parties and then have just a small family celebration on their special day.  To give another big party in December was so stressful on everyone.

 

Weekend after that is Father's Day and we are having a "TurkeyFest".  We have a LARGE Turkey in the freezer that's taking all my space, and have decided to cook it up with all the trimmings on Father's Day. 

 

It's nice to be keepig busy.  Jamie and Kevin took the kids to the circus not long ago.  Kaelynn loves hats -- I love this picture:

 

 

Ahhh - I finally had a good nights sleep last night.  First in a long time and it feels good.  Then I came here, determined to get back into my normal morning routine, not really expecting anyone has visited, and I see the comments you all left and know that you are all waiting patiently for me to get my act together.  I can't tell you what a wonderful feeling that is.  As for getting my act together, I can feel it coming. 

 

Work has been so slow lately and that hasn't helped.  Ladybug has the idea in her comment.  There is so much that needs to be done here at home, it drives me crazy to pace and try to find busy work.  Today I plan to get this space in shape and do some visiting - I miss it here.  There has been so much going on and I struggle with brain overload and my emotions are off the chart.  Not only do I miss it here, I need to be here.  I'm realizing my blogging has kept me on center most of the time.  The ability to get my feelings and thoughts out of my head, helped me to sort things out, and with all of your help, find solutions or even sometimes not....to just let things happen.

 

Jaime has been struggling with relationship problems and decisions and I hate that he is so far away.  I miss him terribly.  Nikki and Daniel are also struggling with relationship problems and finding their way on their own with so many added responsibilties.    Charlie is living at home and not very happy about that, and I worry that he has his priorities all mixed up and because he is so defensive it's hard to talk to him.  I want to wave a magic wand and make everything all better with all of them.  The only one I don't worry about is Little Kev - he has his head on pretty straight and is his happy go lucky self. 

 

And me -- well lets just say I'm learning.  Learning to let go and let them sort things out on their own.  Keeping quiet unless they ask is hard.  But I've seen progress without any help from me (amazing isn't it?? lol).  Yes, I know that letting them solve their own problems is helping them learn, but I'm so used to being the center of their lives I find it hard not to be anymore.

 

Ok enough for now -- anyway I have to get in the shower and go to work -- or should I say change computers.  Sigh - maybe today will be a bit busier.  Have a great day everyone!

I'm still here -- not much has changed.  I just thought I would say hello and play around with this place for a bit.

 

Thank you all -- for caring and commenting.  I will get around a bit today.  Work is boring -- so very slow, I finish with my work by 10 a.m. and spend the rest of the day searching for things to do.  On the up side, all my filing is done, most all of my drawers are cleaned out.  There are no useless piles of paper laying around and my envelopes, file folders etc. are restacked.  Ha!  Life is so exciting here huh?  LOL!

 

 

I'd like to say I haven't been here in awhile, but the truth is that I've come on a few times and when I go to update, I come up with nothing.  It's officially been 4 years since I've started this space, and so much has changed since then.  I don't take to change very well.  When I started this, it was all about my family and my home.  Kids, and eventually the grandkids.  I guess the reason I am finding it hard to update here is that those things have changed.  I may joke about the "empty nest syndrome" - but truth is, I really am lost.  Add my dad's illness into the deal and it's harder.  Add that he's moving farther away --- oh hell -- everythings changing. 

 

My children are grown and branching out into lives of their own that I have no part of.  And like I said I don't take to change very well.  I need to be needed.  Coming here reminds me of that because this space is very much my family and my home.  I have to find some new things, new focus and doing that has not come easy.  Ok - let me be honest - I haven't done it.   I don't know where to go from here.  There have been so many suggestions, focusing on myself, getting new hobbies, going to new places, do things I love.  I'm just not there yet.  I'm sure I will be. 

 

So I've been thinking that maybe it's time to change the content of my space here.  I've thought of giving it up, but when I think of the friends I've made here, I know there's no way I can do that.  At least not now.  Some start a new space elsewhere or just stop coming to their space all together.  I can't do that -- there's too much here to just walk away from.  So most of it will remain, but with some changes.

 

I do need some time to reinvent myself, so to speak, -- and some time to get over myself and stop my moping and whining. Finding a new focus for this space might be just the thing, so while you may not see a blog for a few days or a week at a time, you may see some changes and know that I am here. 

 

In the meantime, don't stop visiting.  I value your friendship - each of you.  You've helped pull me though other hard times -- and I'm grateful.

 

Deb

 

 

Yes, I'm still getting used to a empty house -- well, empty of kids that is.  I told Kevin last night we need to get a dog or something for a little excitement.  He just rolled his eyes.

 

We did have a full house on Sunday though.   The kids threw a surprise birthday party for Kevin when he arrived home from his bowling trip.  It was a nice ending to the weekend.  Our first "cook on the grill" day.  It felt good for us all to be together again, and outside.  Even though there is still work to be done outside the kids came up with stuff to do.  The whale pool wasn't up yet, the kids ball tent I have planned wasn't done, and of course the big pool wasn't opened -- but we had T-Ball, balloons, food and each other. 

 

Nothing special is planned for this weekend -- just the usual puttering around the house, inside and out.  We do need to pick up some new outside chairs this weekend -- our old ones are falling apart, thanks to my boys who like to wrestle - even at their age.  I'm hoping to corral Kevin into putting up the backsplash in the kitchen.

 

Today is Wacky Wednesday at the carwash and I had planned to get the car washed (it's cheap on Wacky Wednesday), but it's raining, so I don't know if it's worth it.  Maybe later this afternoon, cause I thought I would wax it this weekend.  Spring cleaning the car you might say.

 

Next Wednesday is my makeup Candle Party from when we were snowed out last one.  I sent out flyers this time ahead of the invitations and they came out great if I do say so myself.  We are having a Spa/Candle Party.  So far the girls are excited about it -- wine, cheese and crackers, fruit and CHOCOLATE -- added to the Spa stuff.  It's a nice breakup for the week. 

 

My dad's last chemo is today -- he said he would call later.  To be honest, I want to head up there maybe Thursday evening and spend Friday with him and come home Saturday morning.  He said he gets very achy and weak now a day or so after the sessions.  (you warned me of that gail and you were right).  Since he has already started the radiation I can imagine how much lower his immune system is.  He already developed an infection and they have him on oxygen at home now, as well as anitbiotics.  He claims it's just a little machine and he doesn't use it all the time, but just the fact that he has to have it at all scares me.  Going up there, I can access the situation for myself.  If you are reading this dad, beware -- LOL!

 

That's about it everyone.  I have to get ready for work.   If I don't get back this way, have a wonderful Mother's Day!  I think brunch on Sunday is in our plans, but not really sure yet.  I do know I'm headed out Sunday sometime to get some flowers to plant -- compliments of my hubby.

 

Take care and stay safe!

 

The last few days have felt like it's already summer here in Upstate New York.  Just like we skipped Spring.  The temps have been in the high 80's and humid also.  Although yesterday afternoon brought a cooling breeze and the hint of a thunderstorm, that never materialized here.  Today will be warm but not as warm... Ok - weather report done. 

 

Let's see, what new?  Kevin leaves for his bowling trip bright and early tomorrow morning.  He will return mid-afternoon Sunday, so I have the next few days to myself.  I still have no clue what I will do with myself, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.  His birthday is Saturday, so when he returns on Sunday we have planned a little BBQ in the yard to celebrate.  Although it doesn't look like the weather will be cooperating for that little adventure.  61 and breezy is being reported right now.  I can see the napkins, plates and such all over the place.  Oh well, if the sun is out, that'll work. 

 

Today will be a bit busy. I have some banking to do and a bit of shopping after work.  We also need to get the propane tank changed out for Sunday and Kevin needs to finish up his packing and a little bit of yard work. 

 

My dad has closed on the new house in Newcomb and they are renovating it a bit.  His house in Bleeker is up for sale still.  I have to check with him and see if he's had any offers yet.  He's going throug his chemo well, and the Doctor has decided to start his radiation treatments for the spot in his back.  I guess he's had a bit of back pain, and the doctor doesn't want to wait to try to shrink the spot.

 

I guess I do have to say I'm feeling very far away and removed from the events with my dad right now.  He's spending time in Newcomb when he can, and is very close with my sister and her family and friends.  He has so much more in common with them.  Hunting, fishing, alot of outdoors sports.  I am glad though that he's keeping busy and is doing well. 

 

That's about it for now -- not much else new.  So how is everyone else doing?  It's been quiet as usual here, so I'm assuming everyone is busy with the nicer weather.  It does feel good to be more active and out and about more often.  I guess I'll head for the shower and start my day.  Take care everyone!

 

 

There doesn't a day go buy that I don't google a question, read a blog or story about, or learn something new about Autism.  I keep meaning to remind everyone that this month is Autism Awareness Month.  I guess it may be that because to me,  every day is Autism Awareness.  Neverthess, awhile back I joined the Autism Society of America's website.  I get wonderful emails from them, with stories of hope, events, activities and fund raisers held around the country.

 

It is sometimes difficult to take our Eric places because of his sensory issues and his inability to understand certain things yet -- (such as, "it's time to leave or go home, Eric" or sit still honey" when he can't)   Here's the article that came in today's email:  

 

Taking a Chance on Families Living With Autism

by Marianne Ross

 

The sensory friendly movie idea started in the summer of 2007, when my daughter, Meaghan, who was 7 at the time, was thoroughly enjoying Hairspray but was asked to leave a movie theatre because she exhibited self-stimulating behaviors, such as hand flapping and jumping up and down.  This negative experience prompted me to find a way for Meaghan and other special needs children to enjoy a movie regardless of their physical or behavioral differences.

 

Dan Harris, manager at our local AMC Columbia 14 Theatre, didn't hesitate for a second when I called to ask if he would consider allowing the Howard County Maryland Autism Society of America to host a movie for special needs children.

 

I explained the challenges that our children face, specifically sensory issues with lights, volume and self-stimulating behaviors. Dan, rather than being dissuaded, embraced these issues with his positive attitude. He envisioned a monthly program that featured current movies with essential accommodations to ensure a successful outing for all families with special needs children.

 

I arranged to advertise the movies through the Howard County-ASA and the Howard County school system in order to reach each family with school-aged children in the county. Meanwhile, Dan networked with the AMC Theatre's corporate office to create a national program and an official partnership between AMC and the Autism Society of America.

 

The first movie was a huge success in November 2007, and the program went national this April in 68 theatres in 36 AMC markets. They are also going to start employing people with autism in the theatres, with support from ASA!

_____________________________________

 

Isn't this a great story?  For any of you want to learn more about "Living With Autism" --click here for the link!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The weather here is absolutely beautiful today - sunny and due to hit 65.  Not the kind of weather I want to sit at my desk and enjoy.  Bummer....

 

This is my turbo charged computer sapce at work.  If I can remember, I will take a picture of the "takes forever to get there"    area I have at home and post it up tomorrow.   Yep, below is where I spend most of my day -- I am facing a huge window from which I can see the weather and all the cars that come and go.  A very nice set  up for such a nosy person as I am.

 

 

 

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Well, I knew I would miss my little guy, I really didn't realize just how much.  The house is quiet, no little footsteps or squeals from upstairs.  No more running through the kitchen an dining room to get to Me-Ma.  Yesterday was the first day I have went a whole day without seeing him.  Everybody says that now I can do the things I always wanted to do, now that the kids have moved out.  Funny thing is - I was doing what I wanted to do before.  Enjoying my kids and grandkids.  Ah - but life goes on.....

 

Ok - just wanted to get that out - and on that note, I will close up and do some visiting before I head outside to enjoy the sunshine.  Feeling a whole lot blue so I prefer not to let that carry over too much here - I've always tried to keep this blog on a positive note.  My happy place, so to speak...

 

Take care everyone -- I hope your weather is as nice as it is here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Little man was having his pictures taken at school on Tuesday, which also corresponded with St. Patricks's Day.  I can't wait to see how they turned out.  The teachers said he thought the photographer was so funny.  Below he is just chillin and getting ready for the bus.  Anyway - I hope everyone is having a good week!

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep, snowing hard too.  I don't want to talk about it though.  Stupid snow....

 

LOL - I wrote the above on Monday from work.  Thankfully we got barely 2 inches if that and it has all gone now, in spite of the below zero temps we had yesterday.  We are West of Albany and it was East of Albany that received all the snow. 

 

I never did get to finish this update at work, the phone started ringing and we had a huge truck delivery so I helped with customers.  Business has finally picked up a bit with all the projects planned through the winter that are beginning to start up. 

 

So how was everyone's weekend?  Mine was nice.  We didn't get as much done as we wanted.  The trip to Home Depot turned into an all out search through the city. We went to Home Depot, Lowes, Walmart, Target and Wolberg Electric which is a lighting showroom.  We still couldn't find what we were looking for.  I guess the lights that hang on the wall with the cords that plug into an outlet are outdated and no longer made.  We just wanted a simple one to put in Eric's room and Kev was going to put a strip that goes over the cord so Eric couldn't  get to it.  I've seen it done before and it looked satisfactory to me that he wouldn't get to the cord.  We just don't want to rip up the sheetrock for one simple light fixture.  We even went to the Goodwill store to see if there were any there that someone may have given up.  So - I guess we will have to do it the hard way.  Kevin has his friend Mattie coming by next Saturday to install one for us.  He claims that he doesn't have to mess up the sheetrock to do it.  He is an electrician so he must know what he's talking about.  Kevin is pretty handy around the house, but he won't mess with electricity.

 

I guess we are on a warming trend -- today's high will be 30 degrees with it going up through the week into the 40's.  Nope, no signs yet of Spring here, other than all the Easter stuff in the stores, along with tulip and daffodil bulbs for sale. 

 

So - as you can see - there is not much new here.  The sun is shining this morning and my cinnamon toast is ready (I'm at work) so I'll end here and go indulge myself.  Cinnamon Toast and hot coffee - yep - life is good!